Anyways, we did the interview for a little over an hour. I got into talking a lot about cosplay, conventions and sexuality. It really got me thinking. …and then the 4chan threads about me kinda added to that. (You guys, you really don't need to email/IM me to tell me when I'm on 4chan, lol. Although it does amuse me.) Not to mention, I've recently been thinking a lot about why I do it, and when I'm going to grow out of this phase, and justifying the huge amounts of money and time I spend on cosplay!

Cosplay is not my life; it's just a hobby. It's something I do for fun, and it's a creative outlet for me for two reasons:

1) I get to create something vaguely resembling art, which is something I've never been able to do. 
2) I get to express the deviant side of my sexuality in a forum where it is generally acceptable.

Like any hobby, this is just a small part of who I am.

So the doc guys (I am calling them The Crew now) of course asked me about the characters I choose: why are they all very sexual in nature? Well, the most obvious and easy answer is that I like to watch anime that has sexual undertones, and lots of hentai (straight-up porn). And I choose characters from those series. 4 out of the 9 costumes I've done are from hentai. One more is a sexy take on a kid's show, purposefully meant to be gaudy and slutty (well Barb made it way more low-cut than I had originally designed. I've since added a little more fabric in the boobie area.)

But why do I like hentai, and series full of gratuitous fan service? That question was a little more difficult to answer. It turns me on, how do you explain what turns you on?

No, it's not to get attention to fill a void left by lack of attention in my "real life." I've never lacked for attention for my looks, my body, my attitude, my talent-- and you can ask my siblings about that. I may not be beautiful, but I'm charming. I've always been a very sexual person, too. I first started getting attention for my body in 8th grade, and it was all downhill from there. The rush of knowing that I am sexually attractive is addictive. I started to work it, and whether it was my choice of clothes, or frankness about sexual preferences, or organizing Spin The Bottle parties, there was a sexual undertone to my actions. I have always had a boyfriend since I was allowed to date.

Yeah, I am now using cosplay to express that side of me. And maybe that offends the more serious cosplayers out there. It's certainly not my intent. Certainly, cosplay is an art when done well. I have so much respect for costume design, for prop-making, for all the beautiful things that are created from scratch. I don't have much respect for the serious-business fandom, though. Not that there's anything wrong with geeking out about a great show... But I don't and never will have respect for extreme fandom. And here, as pertaining to cosplay, I am talking about the critics who expect to see perfection, and feel they have the right to put others down for not achieving the perfection they want. Of course, you have the right to make fun or have certain expectations. But there's no glory in that, and I don't understand when people scream to have others accept their judgements.

Now, when I act like a whore, for attention or otherwise, I understand how others would see that and disaprove and come to conclusions about what I'm like or why I act that way. It doesn't bother me when people say that kind of shit on 4chan for example. But those who obsess and make judgements need to take a break and see that cosplay is just one part of our lives. I may let my inner whore out at cons… but I'm also a singer, a great cook, a nurturer, a secretary, etc.

I'm honest with myself and honest with others. If you ever have a question to ask me, or a criticism to give me, feel free. I am always happy to indulge curiousity, or to consider ways I could improve.

Well, the interview was pretty fun all in all. I hope I did well, and gave the right impression! After we filmed for an hour, Rock Band started calling our names! So we ended up rocking out for like 4 hours, ahh!

Things w/ Erik are going pretty good lately. I hope I can keep up this being a a good gf thing for a couple more months.

Katsu is coming up so fast, and I have a lot of work to do yet!